From Trauma to Transformation

I was born on the bathroom floor at the women’s restroom of Leipzig’s main train station.

My biological mother didn’t want me, and was actually about to leave on a train when her labor started. On the way to the restroom, she spoke to a complete stranger who ended up helping her deliver this tiny life of mine into the world.

By the time the police and ambulance arrived, that man was nowhere to be found. Nobody even knows who he was.*

Born two months too early, I was rushed to the hospital and spent my first weeks in an incubator, battling for surviving the second time.

No parents standing by, no hands to wrap around. No whispered prayers, no tears of joy when my big brown eyes finally opened.

Just this little heartbeat in a plastic box, and a nervous system that already learned what it means to survive by itself.

Eventually, the government gave me up for adoption.

At 11 months old, I was adopted by a young couple who couldn’t even take care of themselves, let alone each other.

Today, people would call it a narcissistic, toxic relationship — marked by violence, alcoholism, and abuse. They never should have been allowed to adopt a child. That was where I grew up in and called home for next 15 years.

Because I was born with beautiful brown skin, I always stood out in the small all white village in Germany.

I was bullied, spat on, called names. People made up stories out of sheer boredom. Either I was hated, or adored.

It was deeply confusing when strangers spoke to me like they knew me, while I had no clue who they were.

But it always came with attacks, with people who thought I was worth less because of my skin color.

At 16, I moved out.

I sat alone in my tiny one-bedroom apartment, wondering why I wasn’t okay. Why I was so angry, aggressive, deeply sad, and lost. That’s when I first came across the term PTSD and my journey began.

Because I had no one who looked like me, no parents, no siblings, nobody to show me who I was, I had to figure it all out on my own.

Back then, I made myself a promise:

I will know myself better than anyone else ever could.

And so, year after year, I dug deeper.

When I had explored and healed my own story, I started asking why other people felt the way they did, why their lives unfolded as they did.

Bit by bit, I dedicated my life to this calling — and that’s why I’m here today.